"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
should my penis look like a turkey
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
