we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
well you can't waste a boner
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
