never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize