I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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