I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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