What a fucking waste of an outfit
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize