he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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