69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
