mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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