Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
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