I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
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Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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