if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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