it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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