I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize