Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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