my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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