Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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