Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
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I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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