so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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