Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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