My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
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I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.