grinding to god bless the USA? really?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.