She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.