im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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