i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
