Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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