she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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