the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize