May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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