are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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