The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
