I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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