to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Swine flu is the new snow day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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