Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
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I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
tell me about the eggs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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