Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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