Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
