What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His nipple licking is glorious
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