mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
