Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
