I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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