she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
