I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7