The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
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He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.