Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
