you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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