If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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