yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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