I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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