I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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