Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
