Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
