Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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