3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
